Factors To Consider When Choosing A Life Partner – Dating / October 1, 2020 Choosing a life partner? Here are 10 things to remember Words by Pastor Benny Ho Illustrated by Hiu Li Yeng
The story of how Isaac met Rebekah in Genesis 24 is a classic story of romance and love worthy of a K-drama.
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Abraham was on the verge of being promoted to heaven. So he called his trusted servant and sent him on a special mission.
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“…do not take a wife for my son from among the daughters of Canaan where I live, but go to my land and to my own relatives and find a wife for my son Isaac.”
I know it can be hard for us to understand arranged marriages because we don’t practice them anymore. Although the situation and methods may change, the principles remain the same.
Note that Isaac was not the only one who participated in the election. There are others involved in the process, such as a trusted servant and a devoted father.
There is wisdom among many counselors. I want to encourage you to look to your parents and spiritual leaders as a source of wisdom rather than a hindrance.
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Most likely, if we marry against the advice of our parents, pastors, or teachers, we will likely end up in a dangerous place. This is especially true if they love God and have your best interests at heart.
The need for guides becomes more critical because when we are “crazy in love,” our emotions tend to override our better judgment.
Absences are the most obvious signs of weakness on the other side. We see what we want to see.
Abraham’s main concern is that his son marry into the same faith. This is the principle of equal yoke (2 Cor. 6:14-16).
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The word “yoke” refers to the harness that holds two oxen together to plow a field. When they get together, they have to go in the same direction, do the same things at the same time.
God loves you and wants the best for you. He knows how many challenges can come in an unequal relationship.
In the end, I saw that one side had to give up their values to flow with the other. And usually the Christian gives up.
Imagine that a Christian is on a chair and he is trying to pull his unbelieving girlfriend. At the same time, he tries to pull her. Who is likely to win?
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In the same way, the law of sin works against us when we try to fight this battle. We have to be realistic and face these facts.
I’m not saying I’ve never seen an unequal situation go well. But my point is, if that happens, it’s because of God’s grace.
The good results of a worldly decision do not make it right. The final issue here is obedience to God’s commandments.
It can also be used for spiritual compatibility. We do not mean so much spiritual status or activity, but spiritual love and devotion.
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Don’t go with him just because he comes to every prayer meeting and every seminar. These may be signs of spiritual love, but they are not absolute proof of godliness.
Take the time to get to know the person in the group until you are convinced that their walk with Christ is real and genuine.
Chastity is the greatest gift you can give your future partner. Let’s learn to respect our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit.
Sex is like tape. It sticks well the first time – but if we keep changing different surfaces, it loses stickiness after a while.
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Something very profound happens between a man and a woman through the sexual act, which makes it unlike any other experience a man has. Sex is sacred and worth waiting for.
Be careful when you are alone as a couple. Don’t go into a situation where you are alone and away from family or the public.
Think not only of the holiness of God, but also of the purity of others (Hebrews 10:24). If we are not careful, we steal something that belongs to another’s future spouse.
When choosing a spouse, you must remember the mission and destiny that God has for your life.
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In Abraham’s case, he knew that Isaac had an inheritance from the Lord, and his future husband should be a part of that destiny.
“The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s house and my native land, and spoke to me and swore to me with an oath, saying, ‘To your descendants I will give this land’ – he sent his angel . before you, so that you may get a wife from there for my son…”
That’s why I always believe that two candles together should burn brighter for the Lord! If not, why bother being together?
I know some of us may have already chosen a spouse before we found our mission.
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In such cases, God is so gracious that He prevails and blesses you with a God-honoring, kingdom-building marriage. Both can still strive to grow in obedience to God and conform to His will.
“If the woman doesn’t want to come back with you, you will be released from this oath of mine. Just don’t take my son there.”
“Then they said, ‘Let’s call the woman and ask her.'” So they called Rebecca and said, “Will you go with this man?” “I will,” she said.
That brings us to another important question that always plagues us: Does God have the perfect choice for me?
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If He does, that means one in five billion is for you, and if you miss it, you miss it.
“This is what the Lord commanded the daughters of Zelophehad: They can marry anyone, as long as they marry into their father’s family.
“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she can marry anyone, but it must belong to the Lord.”
It’s up to you—we must marry within the New Testament family of God, just as Old Testament people must marry within their tribe.
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And within that biblical boundary, we have many good choices. Then we are free to choose the one that suits us best.
God is not so concerned that you choose the right one, but that you are the right one. To find Mr. Right, you must first be Ms. Right.
We can talk about dating and romance, but ultimately we have to bring God to find a spouse.
“Then he prayed, ‘Lord God of my master Abraham, grant me success today and show my master Abraham . . .”
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The psalmist said, “Rejoice in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
It is interesting to note that when Abraham’s servant placed the test before God, it was related to the virtue of goodness.
When the servant asked for a drink, Rebeca replied, “Drink, my lord,” she said, quickly lowering the jar in her hands and letting him drink. After drinking him, he said: “I will also give water to your camels…” (Genesis 24:18-19)
It’s one thing to give a stranger something to drink, but it’s another thing to water his camels too. It takes real kindness to do this. And not to mention the energy!
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What you see is what you get. People change – but not much. So, if you don’t see kindness and loving care now before marriage, you probably won’t see it when you do.
“So they let their sister Rebekah go with her uncle and Abraham’s servant and his people. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her: Our brothers, let them multiply by thousands and thousands; Let your descendants possess the gates of their enemies.”
Marriage is between two people, but it also includes the union of two families, so it is always good to seek the blessings of loved ones at home and in church.
Respecting our parents does not mean that we have to do what they say. There is a higher law of God that governs all our earthly relationships, including with parents and children.
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If you are asked to do things outside the bounds of godliness, learn to resist in a respectful way.
Note the significance of time in Abraham’s heart, the time the servant and Rebekah meet, the time Isaac was in the field praying and meeting Rebekah
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